OK I admit that I once fell in love with this blond hair blue eyed tall, smart and sexy dude.
I am not Finnish myself.
Do you want to know what has this puppy eyed Finn taught a tanned skinned Asian gal? I hope that women especially from other cultures dating Finnish men can understand their guy better after reading this article.
1. Take your time to react, be a good listener
I complain a lot because I am a woman but he always used to listen to me, whether it was for 10 minutes or 1 hour. He would never interrupt me in between my venting.
All interrogations were carefully picked and crafted and thrown at me very politely after I had stopped talking. Any question or answer he made was after pausing for a few seconds. At first I was astonished by his slow reaction but when I implemented this principle in my life, I saw that my relationships with others started to improve. I haven’t lost my spontaneity but just become a better listener.
2. It’s ok to spend time by yourself
This is obviously a cultural thing. In my culture you spend most of the time together as a couple. But what I noticed immediately is the importance of staying individual and giving importance to yourself first. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you are selfish but its about knowing what you want, having your own hobbies and friends for some downtime. This is truly a great teaching for women coming from chauvinist cultures.
3. Don’t plan too far ahead, just live the present and the rest will follow
This Finn has taught me how to enjoy reading Moomin comics at 26 years of age. The favourite moomin quote of this Finn that has now become my favourite quote: “all things are so very uncertain, and that’s exactly what makes me feel reassured” (quote by Tove Janssen).
This summer I am thinking of going to Naantali to the moominland. Sometimes it is good to treat the kid in us.
4. Enjoy the nature especially while green winter lasts
Sail around the world if you can. Do the saaristo rengastie- bike around the archipelago. Enjoy the lighthouses. Feel the smell of trees and grass. Catch your own fish, cook it and relish it. Use tar (terva) shampoo, its good for the hair. Go to the sauna, take a dip in ice and hit the sauna again. Don’t be afraid to be naked in the sauna.
Visit a summer cottage in Finland, especially if a Finn invites you. Finland summer is like the green winter for them. Finns love July and August and leave their towns to be in their summer cottages to be closer to mother nature. If he goes away for a month don’t worry, he will be back.
5. Get drunk once in a while, don’t live your life by rules
Enjoy Salmiakki whether you like liquor-ice or not. Learn to make it from a Finn. Too much alcohol is no good for you but you need those crazy memories for when you get old. So if you are invited to a Finnish party then don’t be teetotaler.
If you are lucky then a Finnish man will approach you after he gets drunk.
6. Have patience to learn to skate as an adult
If you have never skated in your life and are already 20 something then you got to have hell a lot of patience to be able to skate like a Finn.
A good way to date a Finn is to go to a skating rink with him, hold his hands and learn to skate. It can be romantic. He usually doesn’t laugh if you fall flat on your bum. Anyways it is a bit tricky to make a Finnish guy laugh his head off.
7. Want to surprise your mum? Make her pulla
Pulla is typical Finnish bread that is easy to bake. It is usually eaten with coffee.Most Finnish kids have made it at least once in their life for their mum or grandmum.
If you are ever in a relationship with a Finnish man, he can teach you how to make yummy pullas at home. And he will also help you clean up the kitchen afterwards.
8. Appreciate men who do crazy sports (ice hockey is not crazy enough)
Finnish men are notorious when it comes to extreme sports especially involving ice. They also have a race carrying their woman on their back.
If you date a Spanish guy you just have to support him watching football, but if you date a Finn then there will be lots of moments when you have to close your eyes or bite your nails watching television with him.
9. Understand that there are different ways to show love
Finnish man will never say I love you, he might say that he cares for you. It is up to you to judge from his actions what he exactly means.
A Finnish man may be a bit shy to give a deep kiss, as a woman you would have to be persuasive and be open about your needs to him. Finn is a hug expert. It is especially useful for long winters if you plan to move to Finland.
10. Never give up, understand Sisu, its up to you when and where you use it
The last but the most valuable lesson that the Finn has taught me to never give up.
Adversities may come in life but never lose hope, keep fighting. It is part of what the Finns call Sisu. It is all about having the strength and determination to face anything that life throws at you. Sisu exists also in other cultures but it has no name or definition. It is great that Finns have given it a name so that children can be taught this great concept that can serve them for a lifetime.
This article is written by Abyy Kaisa Ray.
Liked it? Check out what Luis says about his Finnish girlfriend: 10 Things a Finnish Woman Has Taught Me…